1. |
tornado (intro)
01:36
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for six months or what felt like it at eight years old, i rarely slept, frantically fearing a tornado would come along when i wasn't watching and suck up my helpless body along with my mom and our dying dog, and spit us out somewhere near a heaven i didn't believe in and leave me with only a few minutes to square my fear of nothingness as i waited to crash back into the hole where my home used to be.
someday the tornado came and i hardly even noticed, too preoccupied with the beauty of the night sky.
i realized this was exactly what i wanted, to feel the wind beneath me taking me somewhere without all the gravity.
but it comes back, and then you have nothing.
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2. |
feel
04:02
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do you feel our blood move beneath the streets
to escape all of our body heat
while it leaves us sobbing in the sheets
do you think it ever wants to be free?
ooooooOOOOOOOoooooo
why don't you leave your fingertips on my spine?
so i can feel this way all the time
without you, without SSRIs
but i've given up on telling my mind to be more kind
I wanna feel the way our blood moves
when i sit alone and talk with you
oh no
ooooohhhhhhh noooooo
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3. |
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there's always resentment on your tongue
when you tell me i'm the only one
that you could ever love
without scraping the tar out of your lungs
and you're laughing at the wrong time
and you're driving through stop signs
but you don't want to die tonight
you just want to feel alive
we both know we're better off alone
but it's terrifying to be
just another casualty
of post-teenage co-dependency
and mid-twenties identity crises
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4. |
notes in the sidewalk
04:09
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some of the quietest moments in my life
were spent drinking in empty parking lots
or the porch of some friends of mine
friends in our childish remedies for being alive
drunk watching the moon take flight
far away from city lights
and knowing we'll all disintegrate before the end of time
bury me beneath the pavement
the cracks will be my shrine
and i'll leave notes in the sidewalk
////////like rain begging to be touched, i'm too selfish to be loved/////////
how many ghosts have held my hand?
halcyon creatures? leftovers of love?
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5. |
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i was making some sad music
wishing you could listen to it
you were drunk when you came over
sometimes i wish you were sober
we're in my living room escaping the stress of living
but i don't know how to return the love you're giving
and you keep saying you wish you could stay
but i only love you from far away
i've read all of your letters
but they don't make me feel better
i miss you more than i want to
because i'm just the ghost that haunts you
we're in my living room escaping the stress of living
but i don't know how to return the love you're giving
and you keep saying that you wish you could stay
but i only love you when you're far away
oh no!
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