for six months or what felt like it at eight years old, i rarely slept, frantically fearing a tornado would come along when i wasn't watching and suck up my helpless body along with my mom and our dying dog, and spit us out somewhere near a heaven i didn't believe in and leave me with only a few minutes to square my fear of nothingness as i waited to crash back into the hole where my home used to be.
someday the tornado came and i hardly even noticed, too preoccupied with the beauty of the night sky.
i realized this was exactly what i wanted, to feel the wind beneath me taking me somewhere without all the gravity.
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